<a href="http://thehappinessbucket.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/mp900438475.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1435" title="MP900438475" alt="" src="http://thehappinessbucket.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/mp900438475.jpg?w=278" height="300" width="278" /></a>During a recent conference, I attended a session about networking.  It is something I am very interested in perfecting for my personal life and my career.  The problem is that I am a pretty shy person.  Yes!!!  I am...seriously, not in all instances but in some pretty important ones I am.  The key times when this shyness seems to kick in is when I am in a room of people who know one another but they don't know me.  It's almost like you are the new kid on the block.  The same situation with people I don't know but I know they are there to learn what I know....oh forget about it...I'm golden.  Those times the extrovert comes out and I shine!  The difference is in territory right?  I mean when you are on your territory and know what you are talking about you are comfortable and have no problems.  People are seeking for your wisdom and knowledge...but when you are on someone else's playing field or you are seeking their knowledge and wisdom the tide changes.  You all of a sudden don't know what to say...you start having mini conversations with yourself like this one:

"don't sound stupid, but what should I say, I don't know but they look like they like to talk, but listen to how that conversation is going...if you jump in will you sound stupid?  I'm smart I can handle it...I don't know...are you sure."  and so on and so on.

Well during this session the speaker suggested that you initiate conversations by literally sitting at the table.  Ok, here is an example:  You are an orderly who is interested in becoming a nurse (work with me b/c I don't know if these are the right positions).  You enter the cafeteria and see a nurse sitting and eating alone.  The speaker suggests that you go and ask to sit with that nurse and after the normal niceties you let him/her know of your interest and get them to suggest to you how you can move to the next level.  They may be willing to help you with your goal of becoming a nurse.  Now when you pass them in the hall at the hospital you are no longer a stranger.

I felt this was a very interesting concept so I decided I was going to make a concerted effort to test it when I got home.  Stay tuned to see how my first test went.

I tell you as somewhat of an introvert I wasn’t quite sure how I’d feel about testing this theory, but I knew I needed to try if I was going to conquer my “fears”.  So, the goal or lesson was to sit down at a table or near someone you didn’t know, on purpose, and strike up a conversation.  Now, first of all I am always cognizant of people and their annoyance level(s).  That is one of my pet peeves when someone comes and can’t see when I am in a “please don’t bother me” mode. So enter the experiment #1:  I was at the Seattle airport and had just gotten my lunch and needed a place to sit.  The area was crowded and all the tables were occupied, but I saw a young lady who was sitting at a four top by herself.  I thought maybe just maybe, she will be the one…so I asked her if I could sit down and she very nicely in her accent said yes.  Now she seemed very engaged in her mobile device as we all generally are, but I didn’t let that deter me.  I asked if she was from Seattle, assuming this was a safe question that could lead to more conversation…she was from the UK and was just flying through.  We had about a five min convo and then my phone rang, so although that severed our convo, I will call this a successful completion of round 1.  I got passed my fears and took the leap into the uncomfortable zone of initiating conversation with a stranger.  I’m hoping the more I do this the easier it will become.

Do you do this?  Strike up conversations with strangers?  I mean I can talk to people I know or to people I have common interests with all day long, but a complete stranger?  Didn't your momma tell you not to talk to strangers?!?!?!?  I mean who is this person, do you really want to talk to them?  For me, it's more of initiating a conversation with someone and not knowing what to say.  Not wanting to look completely ignorant with the other person and appear to be wasting their time.  This experience was cool because we weren't there to learn anything new and we weren't there to judge one another...we were just eating lunch and waiting for our plane(s).  So the common denominator between us was that we were both young (smile), we were both eating lunch, we were both waiting on something and we were both alone.  My goal next time is to pick the person a little more carefully and hopefully make some sort of deeper connection with them and we can truly network/connect with one another.

What are you tricks for connecting with people/strangers?

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